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Friday, 31 August 2012

Not letting go would be living a lie

Every day, in this premature first light hour, I always used to anticipate your existence. Most of the time you did showed up; may be not for me but for others. What important is that your company enlightened the vividness of the fresh morning aura.

I missed you a lot the preceding night, most likely over the last few weeks you have been very hectic and it’s completely ok. Everyone needs to live his or her own life, it’s the indispensable regulation. The verity which is imperative is that, the person needs to be in high spirits. Since you are happy with the things that you are doing now, that’s just fine with me.

Lately I have realized what the focal dilemma that is bothering me is. The crisis is that, I have categorized people according to my need and my pick. I never gave any thought about them, what they in fact want. I tried to posses them without their keenness. I tried to be in command of the things that were never mine.

I started expecting.

I should have waited for the gesture to reflect back to me just like the echo of heartbeat that I thought strikes your one. I was wrong. I miscalculated everything and used emotions as the only contrivance to bring you near to me; without knowing the tangible destination.

As a result, the clueless sailor could never find the harbor and could never kiss the lady he loved. He remained confused forever.

He was confused.

Girl, years passed us by. Things happened for a raison d'ĂȘtre and the poor fate separated us without letting us even know what is waiting at the forefront of us.

Remember the last time we met, I told you, I looked on your eyes and said, who knows may be this is the very last bye. You smiled and whispered, “dekha jak”. I waited for so long just to see you one time, but couldn’t deal with; I was forever and a day afraid, even today. Countless times I planned so many things just to meet you, but failed. I was always waiting for your rejoinder but there was not an iota. You almost overlooked me each time I tried. What could I perhaps do rather wait for you to take the initiative, but you on no account did.

I became feeble day by day; slowly I felt things were changing.

All those sleepless nights, all those snuffle started to fade away. But the emotions it never died, I could feel you everywhere. Believe me it was figment of the imagination or not, I could sense your sweet smile behind every success of mine and your consolidation worked as a brainwave to overcome every collapse. You were everywhere.

I am not sure whether I will be able to get rid of the delusion.

I don’t know how much I like you or how much I want you badly. But what can I probably do? Tell each and every thing to you? What’s after that? You are in all probability going to leave me single-handedly, because I will be an element of abhorrence to you. Everything will be over. Things will be customary afterwards. But, no!

Things will not be usual as it was, it will minimally make our life as worse as it can be.

Hearts united in pain and sorrow will not be separated by joy and happiness.
Bonds that are woven in sadness are stronger than the ties of joy and pleasures.
Love that is washed by tears will remain eternally pure and faithful.

So let it be, let’s face it.
I respect you a lot; I would never do anything that harms your dignity. I don’t want to make you shed tears. So I am moving on, forever!
I am a loser, because I learned a wrong meaning of what love is.

Girl thanks for making my life so beautiful and to make me what I am today. I know I couldn’t meet your expectations. I think one day I will be able to stand straight up but that might be too late. Even if I lose you I won’t regret. If one day, after years of trying, if somehow I get you, then I think that will be a big achievement for me.

Girl, I will miss you a lot.

Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind

I never planned on making you cry but not letting go would be living a lie…

31/08/12 06:42 am

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