Love that Exists in Fairy Tales

The love I was talking about 

only exists in fairy tales.

In real life, love has to be possible.

Even if it is not returned right away,

love can only survive when the hope exists

that you will be able to win over

the person you desire.

Anything else is fantasy.

Girl I tried, Not to lie...

You can call me liar

 I was too weak to face the truth 

You can call me liar

I couldn't tell you I'll leave you soon 

Girl I had my reasons believe me 

I never wanted to see that you cry 

You can call me liar 

I really love you that's why I lied  

I was tryinna find a reason 

To tell you that I'm sorry 

I've been lying all this while 

So that you never worry 

Baby, Meeting friends or working late 

It was just a story Girl 

I lied, Made you cry

Girl I tried, Not to lie...

You make me feel like I am Free again

Whenever I'm alone with you,
you make me feel Like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you,
you make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you,
you make me feel Like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you,
you make me feel like I am fun again

However far away, I will always love you,
However long I stay, I will always love you,
Whatever words I say, I will always love you,
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am free again,
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away, I will always love you,
However long I stay, I will always love you,
Whatever words I say, I will always love you,
I will always love you

Did I miss something? Yes, I miss U

The distance between us may be miles and years but it will not change the fact I hope you are missing me too.

I wish I could be with you wherever you are and wherever you go every day. Just so I wouldn't have to miss you so.

Whenever I miss you, I close my eyes, 

and go back in my memory lane 

and live those moments again,

I miss you, not the

'I haven't seen you in a while'

kind of miss you, but the

'I wish you were here at this very moment'

kind of miss you.

Did I miss something? Yes, I miss U.

Note to self: Stop trying so hard to win someone's heart if it’s meant to be it will stay mutual. If it’s meant to be it will be. If not...Let it ride.

Letter from a Bipolar Mathematics Lover

Dear Mathematics,

Who doesn’t want to breathe the life of their much loved TV characters? I always liked how scientists Sheldon, Leonard, Raj and Howard escort a cool everyday life in the Big Bang Theory TV series. I was always enthralled by the way sometimes they do some haphazard calculations and demands to hit upon something new-fangled or to attest some hypothesis; and how one day they yearn for to get the noble prize.

I always anticipated myself possessing a white board, where I could inscribe some mathematical formulas and toil day and night, may be after a number of days, or even after years of hardship I will come up with something innovative for the civilization. It was forever a delusion I could never pull off; partly because I was in no way that much concerned about mathematics. Or maybe the foundation in charge-to inspire me couldn’t do so as it should be.

Since early days I always got above average marks in mathematics and my O’level and A’level math result was brilliant. But things changed when I got my first calculus class at NSU. My entire thought of what mathematics is, changed out of the blue. Things come to pass for a reason right?

May be that’s why I had to do again Calculus and Analytical Geometry –I, three times, with different faculties. It was the first time I repeated any course. When I tried to stumble on the grounds behind my bad end result, I was taken aback to see that, the problem lied in the way I used to envision mathematics.

I thought mathematics in particular means learning some set formulas and to decipher given problems using them. So I could deal with problems from examples or those done in the class. But in the assessment, when some new conceptual questions were given, I always became blank. I became conscious of my problems. Not to forget one of the most awful incident at a Math Olympiad, when I could answer only two questions out of eight.

From then onward I changed the way I used to deal with math. I laid more emphasis on the concept and always try to see them graphically or relate them with real life scenario in my mind's eye, whenever valid. I know that, it’s all about practice and patience, and you have to be devoted to math. I found that I often face problem in Differentiation and Integration and until the end of time try to run away from them. So I tried to carry out them more. As a result my subsequent math classes were very good. Yes I still get terrified whenever I see a hard-hitting math problem, but at least now I do have the valor to at least give it a try.

If I am ever asked, what I would have changed in the times of yore, so that in the present day, my math solving skills would have been superior; then without doubt the retort will be the teaching tactic of some teachers. There are quantities of faculties who put in order a deposit of notes and repeat them year after year, with particular five to ten examples. They have a propensity to give only those problems in the examination to evaluate the students. And that’s where, because of this bogus contest, general students have a tendency to practice only those examples for the tests. They are often not paying attention to experiment with new mathematics. And I am one of them.

If you don’t like a player, hate him but you can’t blame the whole game. In this case I don’t know who is answerable, the game, the institution; or the players, the game makers, our teachers. I am blessed enough to get few mathematics teachers, who are self-assured enough and know what they are schooling. Some of them were victorious in visualizing the significance of mathematics to me. Mathematics is amusing, if the right self teaches you and if you can distinguish how to play with it. Otherwise, math means mind-numbing hit and miss statistics and paranormal equations.

~Yours truly,

A Bipolar Mathematics Lover.

Ten Present Priorities of mine…

·        Money: lately I have figured it out, that how awful life can get a hold if you are broke or if you have to ask for small bills, on a daily basis to your mom and dad. Life is not fine when you had no jobs for long four months and finished all of your savings. The hard part is the after juncture. Life is too harsh. Been there, Seen it, Done that.

·        

    Research-paper: I must say that, my life kind of changed when my original research paper got selected for a poster competition. Way to go son, way to go. All thanks goes to my faculty Dr. Shahriar Khan, for whose brainwave moved me a lot.

·    CGPA: ah! That bitch. I just hate the 4 letter. Just because of this word there are so many tribulations among me and my other friends. I hate you.

·     

        Laptop: my sexy ultrabook. Hmm it was the best present that I ever received, I guess. I just can’t thank enough my mom and dad. It feels great to posses the best techno in the market. But at the same time it’s the foremost reason of me becoming indolent and is wasting so much of expensive time.

·   

      Robotics: the classy reverie. Who knew it would be so tough to master Arduino language and AVR studio? But I am fluky to have so many excellent instructors and elder brothers who are so caring and are very heartfelt. Now I need to put away money for all the diminutive parts that I need to buy. So 499 here we come.

·      

      Friendship: is realizing the fact that, how imperative it is to have some good associates. I just don’t want to put pen to paper about this.

·

        Group-study: there is no substitute to this and there cannot be any. It’s just for the reason that I have lost all my good group-study partners only because of me. Why do all people have issue problems? Jhogra lagbey ek jon, agoon lagabey arekjon. So funny!

·        Homework: hmm after doing so bad in 2 midterm test: EEE 232 and EEE 332, I should unquestionably accentuate on doing them on time. I can’t risk ending up with bad grades any more.

·        

   Club: I really feel affection for SSET, I donno for what motive. May be they are doing precisely the genus of work I always wanted to do, so I would like to highlight on this club beside my studies.

· 

       Arduino: this is the first thing that I want to become skilled at in the next semester break. Arduino language is effortless to build up and their hardware’s are uncomplicated to toil on.

So let it be…

I believe in Happy Ending

Dear dear,

I just don’t know why I am writing this post or what the feelings behind this idea were. May be few days’ back I was talking to one of my good old friend and saw her blog and I guess that was the catalyst for doing this.

I can’t believe I just used the term catalyst. Gosh!

Hmm I must tell you that, yesterday I have broken one of my promises and one of my New Year resolutions, that I won’t be writing anything on my personal journal anymore. 

But guess what, I did!

I realized lately I have become so lazy and what not, I just don’t know what’s going on. I have lost all interest in everything, I don’t study at all and the worst part my mom started to scold me after years, and I hate that.

Since this is my first post of this year, so I must write about how everything went over the last two month. To be honest it was not good at least nothing compared to what I expected or I am still expecting. I need to work hard on many things and the list is just increasing day by day.

Finally I was able to apologize to two people and I was not talking to them for a long time. Finally I did it and tried to explain as honestly as I could. I regretted for whatever wrong things that I have done and all the wrong decisions which were made by me and how those affected so many people. Yes, it took me a long time to have the realization but when I did I was too scared stiff. I asked them to forgive me, both of them promised, now let’s see.

I still need to apologize to another person; it’s been four month the last time we talked. Few days back when I saw her eyes, I was so shocked and was not aware of what was going on. No matter whatever the misunderstandings still remains between us, I have decided to make everything as it was before. She was my best friend and we shared so many stuffs. So I called her, but couldn’t talk. Texted her and our class timings don’t match with each other. Then there came a series of Haartal and everything so we couldn’t see each other. I just hope everything will be fine and I can’t see her cry.

I am enjoying my friend circles and they are very cool and not to mention my new club where I joined and it’s just so amazing. The instructors they are the best and all the elder bros are so caring and everything. I just hope within this year I can make and design my own robot. I am still in contact with the coworkers of the clubs where I worked before, though it’s kind of very tough for me to attend their meetings and everything, but still I try my best to help them in any way I can.

Now I am finally convinced that you can’t really judge your friends. They are the best blessings one can get. No matter if anyone tries to go away from your life intentionally or if someone thinks that keeping a safe distance is the better option. One thing I can’t deny is that those friends are really special, for whom you cry to your Lord and pray always so that they always keep on shining as they always do.

Those people are really lucky who got someone in their life…a blessed friend …nah I should not complete this …

To do list: wok on the complains raised against me…someone once said, she prayed so that I get fat, so I need to get thin and work out regularly. Someone was always expecting that I am a failure, and I should not comment on that. And there is that one person who once told that perfection is boring and I should not try to make everything perfect. While the most important person, I just don’t know what she thinks.

All I know is my days are getting over and I am not anymore what I am. So now is the time either all the dreams are going to shatter one by one or maybe I can pile them again from the scraps. Still I have time no matter how small that is, I just need to convince someone, someday.

And yes, I also believe in Happy Ending.